STAGE MOMS FROM HELL!

I HAD A DREAM...

Stage mothers have existed since the beginning of time. Back in the stone age, while the men would hunt for food, these prehistoric beasts would remain in the cave, place their offspring on a rock and say, "Ugh, ugh, ugh!" Translation - "Sing out Louise!"

The Blessed Virgin Mary may have even said to Jesus, "Honey, when you do these public speaking gigs, you might want to hold you hands like this."

Some stage mothers, push too hard driving their children to insanity.

And then there are those monsters that vicariously live their own dreams through their children, injecting them with poor values and in some cases...Botox. More on that in a bit.

I DREAMED IT FOR YOU BABY...
Okay, so my guilty pleasure is "Toddlers and Tiaras". I love a good beauty pageant train wreck and perhaps, just like these hideous stage moms, I am a monster too for watching this. I can't help it. I am fascinated by this twisted little world of parents trying to make their children into these living dolls. 

I live for these crazy mothers doing the moves with their children when they are onstage and forcing them to do that nauseating little-girl sexy pose. I scream at the TV when these idiots spend their food money on a $4000 dress, just so their princess can go home with an Ultimate Grand Supreme trophy. (Yes. I know the lingo.)


IT'S GONNA COME TRUE BABY...

But it's all good fun until we jump into the "child abuse" pool. So this asshole of a mom, Kerry Campbell, was featured in this story on "Good Morning America" saying that she injects her daughter with Botox so she can win pageants. And now TMZ is reporting that she made the whole thing up.


First of all...she didn't make it up. I really believe this woman is whack-a-doodle enough to do this to her daughter. How a parent can do this to a child is incomprehensible to me. However, perhaps it will shed some light and perspective on they way we groom our little girls to be just like us. Do we really want our kids growing up with body dismorphia and eating disorders not to mention low self-esteem?


THEY THINK THAT WE'RE THROUGH, BUT BABY...

Being a beauty pageant winner myself (so to speak), I know first hand what it feels like to have thousands of people screaming for you. And just for the record...I did not use Botox. Foam rubber, yes. Botox, no. And my mother wasn't screaming, "Sing out Louise!" from offstage. But enough about my brief pageant royalty. Shouldn't these kids be celebrated for being kids and not miniature adults?


YOU'LL BE SWELL, YOU'LL BE GREAT!
Working where I work, it's pretty amazing to watch parents allow their children to just be themselves. There is something so magical about kids being able to express themselves in their innocence. Although I make jokes about "Toddlers and Tiaras" (and will continue to watch), it's pretty great when you see those one or two kids on the show who do the pageants simply because they love them. The kids who genuinely love to perform onstage and who embody a great sense of sportsmanship. The ones who are okay with a simple "Princess" trophy as opposed to having to be the Ultimate Grand Supreme.

So Botox Mom--my advice to you--take your daughter out of pageants and let her be a little girl. Maybe enroll her in soccer or Girl Scouts. And then...only then...will she be able to truly "Sing out Louise"! 


After all...look how good I turned out.