FASCINATOR RHYTHM!

Cirque du Soleil or Royal Wedding?


Well I knew the ladies at the wedding were going to wear hats...but HOLY CRAP! Who knew the British ladies would be so whimsical. Seriously. Philip Treacy, the mad hatter himself, practically took over the entire wedding with his over-the-top and fabulous hats and fascinators. I've taken the liberty of renaming these tempting toppers.


The Great Blue Vagina

English socialite, Tara Palmer-Tomkinson, wore one of my favorite hats of the day. Dressed in matching blue, her striking, blooming, blue vulva made me want to call a gynecologist. 


The No-Smiler

Softer and darker than the Great Blue Vagina, Victoria Bekham's whimsical black masterpiece contains a lining of botox preventing one from smiling...EVER. She does realize she is at Kate and William's wedding and not Di's funeral right?


The Wood Chipper

This hat part of the fascinator family shows what happens to lumberjacks when they get to close to the equipment.


The Ursula (or the What The Fuck)

Words cannot possibly describe Princess Beatrice's topper other than sea-witch meets fallopian tubes.

The Free H.B.O.

This hat is not only fashionable but provides you with complimentary cable service for a year. Showtime not included.

The U.F.O. - "Utterly Fantastically Original"

"Earth to Mars. Come in Mars." This fabulous creation is a throwback to 1950s futuristic. I love it!!!

And of course...my personal favorite...

The Moose Knuckle