Monday, May 23, 2011

RAPTURE SHMAPTURE!

GOOD TIMES AND BUM TIMES...I'VE SEEN THEM ALL AND MY DEAR...I'M STILL HERE!
So we're still here. And apparently that yahoo Harold Camping, the putz who predicted the end of the world, is now saying that, "God delayed judgement so that more people can be saved".


Where is this man getting his information? And did he really not have a back-up plan, just in case? I guess that would be a question to his faith if he had doubt. But somewhere in the back of your mind, Harold, wasn't their a teeny, tiny voice that said, "Don't cancel my subscription to the Hollywood Bowl"?


I just went to his Family Radio website and clicked on "What's New". Nothing. Clearly someone is going to lose their job over that one. Cause...NEWSFLASH...you're still alive people. 


Are we really that starved for spiritual leadership that we will follow some schmuck who applies some algebra to the Bible and comes up with a date for Armageddon? I think the lesson to be learned here is that...MATH IS HARD! Personally, when it comes to numbers, I freeze up. When I was in Jr. High School, my teacher somehow made a mistake, and placed me in the advanced "Algebra Group" (which she pronounced ALL-JE-BRAH making us all sound like we were from France)
I struggled and struggled. And I think the reason I didn't get bumped back down to Peasant Level Math was because she didn't want to admit that she made a mistake. By the time I got to high school, I was placed in Remedial Geometry.

Perhaps that is what happened with Mr. Camping. Maybe he bit off a few more fractions than he could chew or couldn't answer a basic story problem:

QUESTION:
If Jesus could save only part of the population, and 97% of the population would be doomed to hellfire considering the number of homos and Jews in the world, not to mention Jewish Homos, how many believers would it take to fly in the air and screw up air traffic control? And what date will all this occur?

ANSWER:
May 21, 2011

BUZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ! WRONG Mr. Camping! You need to divide the number of damned souls by the square root of Jesus times lift plus wind speed divided by the lowest common denominator which is Leviticus plus Jews and the quotient of Homos. Sheez Louise, Mr. Camping! Even those of us in Remedial Geometry know that!

When the stakes are this high, and you have thousands of people donating money to your cause...I suggest to enroll in a basic math class at the Learning Annex, before you make your next prediction.
And for the record...I still HATE math!

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